Are You WIFE Enough?

Man Claims Breastfeeding Helps ED

Ok, honestly, this is one of the more disturbing articles I've read in a while.  And I read the news every other  month. 
So I had to share. I'm sorry if you're sensitive to such bizarre and creepy things, but...carry on.
I would also like to add that the title of this article is misleading, so to all of you 40+ year old guys who can't get it up, this is not the place for you to share your sob stories. Thanks.

Here's the story for those of you who hate clicking on links because you think I've got a virus prepared for you (oh, is that just me who thinks like that? )  This man, Jeff, thinks it's erotic to breastfeed from his wife Michelle.  He loves it, to a creepy degree.  He also loves impregnating her. According to her?  She loves it too.  (Of course she does, because he's probably standing behind the interviewer, wife-beater clad, giving her the eye as she answers questions.) If you do read the article, you will see some of the most disturbing quotes from this Jeff character, explaining what he loves about breastfeeding.

 Ex:"The first time I latched on and the milk started to flow, I had to stop, otherwise I would finish off right there." Seriously? Is this real life? The first time he, "latched on?" I think I just threw up a little in my mouth.

 Ooh, here's another beauty: "I can't explain it, but when I breast-feed, it helps strengthen my erection." ......He gets a hard on when breastfeeding?  Oedipus? Is that you?

His explanation of such things is even weirder:   "My mother wasn't exactly modest and I allegedly walked in when I was 4 or 5 and she was soaking in the tub. I asked if I could suck on her boobies."
Ok, Oedipus, enough of this charade.  

And, "boobies?" Really, Oedipu--I mean, Jeff? Did you just say that to the journalist?  You have a bright future in politics with the way you eloquently spin your words.

Apparently though, there are a handful of guys who have accidentally experienced breastfeeding.  Those guys being the brave, stupid ones to come forward and admit it. 
Wait, am I saying that maybe men wouldn't want to admit that they've breastfed? Odd. Because that's every man's dream, going back to breast-feeding, the most heartwarming of acts...performed by a mother and baby.

To make things more officially creepy, sex therapist, Anderson, says she thinks it would be beneficial for the happy couple to go through psychotherapy.  Whether she thinks this because she, like me, is perturbed by Jeff and Michelle's kids' 6 MONTH AGE GAP (is that even possible??) or because she believes that Jeff just likes to dominate, is hard to tell.  Although, it does lend to the latter argument that Jeff has forbidden his wife the use of birth control, despite doctor's warnings of health risks. 

You know what, yeah, yeah. I think I get it.  I know I personally would want to be pregnant every nine months on the dot....BECAUSE IT WOULD GIVE ME RESPITE FROM SOME GUY LATCHING ON TO MY BOOBS JUST AFTER I'VE FINISHED NURSING 2 BABIES IN SUCCESSION! 2 BABIES!!!

Again, I apologize if anyone was offended.  I just couldn't gag alone.