And Then I Said...Stop Flirting with Your "Best Friend"

Top 5 Things NOT to Do While in a Relationship

1. Talk about your ex all the time. 

 

If I hear another dumb sentence about how great your ex was then I'm going to shove something sharp down your throat. I don't care if she was Angelina freaking Jolie. I don't want to hear ANOTHER WORD.

2. Compare your girl/boyfriend to your ex.  Ever.

 

I am not your ex for a reason. That reason being because your ex is not me. Duh. There's nothing else to say about this.

3. Say dumb stuff like "Man, I'd hit that." While staring at someone else. Not your S.O.

 

If I go to a restaurant, a mall, a parking lot, a sidewalk, with you I expect you to pay attention to me. And even if you're not, I expect you to PRETEND goshdangit.  I'm not turned on by your weird attempts at making me jealous. Yes, I can see her Double D's flailing, I don't need you to rub it in. Jerk. Why am I with you again?

4. Spend inordinate amounts of time with your "best friend." Who is of the opposite gender.

 Unless your "best friend" is a dog I don't want to see you kissing her. Or him. Or whatever. Stop pretending you don't want to get with your "really really wonderful best friend" who you'd "never date because you're like siblings" and just get with them already. I'll go find my best friend--cake.

5. Post pictures on Facebook of you with your "best friend," with hearts and smiles in the comment section. 

 I do not want to see bullcrap pictures of you and your "best friend" hugging and rough-housing in adorable Instagram settings. Nope.  Those pictures are either with me-YOUR GIRLFRIEND AHEM--or no one.  

Any other dating faux pauxes?  Let me know!