Uno Dos Tres, Let's Kill Pitbull Already

Picture this.  A recording studio.  J-Lo or Jay-Z or somebody with a hyphen in their name decides to lay down a pop-ish track to create another top 40 piece of worthless crap song.  The beat drops.  And suddenly...DALE!!!
Pitbull has arrived to make his 11 millionth "feat. Pitbull" top hit. 
Seriously, does the man hide in recording studios?  Hiding in wait to jump in the middle of a song with a gallant "Mr. Worldwide!"? Or is his agent just an OCD perfectionist with a need for power?

Either way, with an infamous "uno dos tres" we're off, topping charts, surprising no one.  Except me.  What is this scary white bald dude who only sings in broken Spanglish, parading under a ton of crappy aliases like "Mr. 305," and "Mr. Worldwide" (What does that even mean??!?), doing in EVERY single top hit?  Maybe this is chicken or the egg, but does the song he features in become a top hit by itself and he just happens to be there, or does he feature in them, and THEN it becomes a top hit, BECAUSE he was in it??

If the latter is the case, I'm not sure I want to be a part of this society anymore.

I'm not sure if any song is safe from this crazy cuban anymore.  He started out chanting the everlasting words "Hotel Motel Holiday Inn" and progressed to featuring in everything wrong with the pop industry.  Out of 79 singles he's released, he's a featured artist in 48. 48 singles that have featured Pitbull. That's almost 49 which is almost 50 which is half of a hundred.  Basically Pitbull's featured in half of 100 singles.  Incredible.

Regardless, as we all know, Mr. 305 is conquering the radio one song at a time.  Soon he'll even be on the Indie channels and public talk radio stations, I'm sure. In my opinion, he's doing a great job at being the only rapper that our generation will recognize. He's basically the best rapper there ever was.  Most of his listeners don't understand Spanish but all enjoy yelling UNO DOS TRES every 20 seconds.  Thank you Pitbull for making me feel personally connected to the Latino culture.