Retaliation

Dear Upstairs Neighbor,

If you're wondering why I was vacuuming at 6 am on a Saturday morning it is because I was/am mad at you for having LOUD sex while I was TRYING to sleep! 

Ok, I understand that you're a belly dancer and you've got to get it on or whatever.  Just, please, QUIT WITH THE OBNOXIOUS MOANING. And when your dog starts barking at you....DO SOMETHING. IT'S 2 IN THE MORNING AND I'M UNABLE TO THINK IN BETWEEN THOSE ANNOYING GROANS.

I'm not bitter that you're having sex. Really.  I don't care if you have sex with that huge, no-neck, tattooed beast of a man I saw you entering you entering your part of our tri-plex with at 1.  Nope, I really don't care if you have sex with him.  Even if it happens right above my room. What I DO care about is that YOU FREAKING SHUT UP.

So, if you woke up at 6 this  morning after a busy, ahem, night, and felt irritated that my vacuum was going and I was simultaneously singing "Call Me Maybe" at the top of my lungs, now you know why.  My roommates weren't even home so I wasn't disturbing anyone BUT YOU.

Hope you're wandering around as groggily as I am today.  Jerk.

Sincerely,
Me.